Do you know how to adequately express your emotions?

Do you know how to adequately express your emotions?

You woke up at 6:30 a.m., not at 7 a.m. because the neighbour above you started drilling. You went to work. It’s a rainy day. You took the tram and waited for tram number 13. After 10 minutes the tram arrived which is crowded and you cannot enter. You wait for the next one and are 20 minutes late for work. Coming to work gives you a lot of tasks that you need to complete in a short amount of time. A colleague starts talking to you because he has not as many tasks as you. Because of everything that happened to you during the morning, you decide to react to your colleague and say ” Can’t you see I’m working ?! Get a job and get away from me! ”

What do you think if this situation could be applied to you? Sometimes we are greeted just like this morning. Upside down, undesirable, gloomy, tired – if we were to shape this state we could imagine a heavy cloud descending very low to the ground, blurring the view and its presence interfering with the daily functioning of the individual. Theoretically speaking, in this situation, emotion prevailed over reason and led to this reaction. Expressing emotions, especially such strong and intense emotions like anger can be challenging because the emotion has taken over the body. Anger leads to chest tightness, heat in the head, palpitations and sweating. In this situation, the body prepares to flee or fight. In this case, the fight was expressed in an inappropriate verbal way, shouting and arguing.

Everyone is responsible for their behaviour and thus for the way they will behave with how they feel. Expressing emotions is a skill that can be learned, it is useful because based on that skill one can learn self-control (eg. I feel angry, I accept that emotion, I delay reacting when I am calm), self-esteem (eg. I feel sad and it is okay to feel sad, I want some time for myself) and self-awareness is strengthened (eg. I feel grateful because I fell asleep last night).

Strategies for expressing emotions

Emotion regulation is a process that involves several steps. With the first step, recognizing and naming the emotion and once that emotion is appreciated, the second step would be expressing the emotion. You can express your emotions in one of the following ways:

  • Try talking to yourself in the mirror as if you were talking to someone else. Tell how you feel, ask questions to better understand what was the source of the emotion, how you are currently feeling and what the consequence is. You can write this “internal dialogue” on your mobile phone, laptop, NAOMI application to help you in future situations.
  • Share with a loved one how you feel. In that case, don’t expect from others to immediately understand how you feel. Sometimes it is important that only someone is present and listening to you.
  • Express emotions through physical activity. When an emotion intensifies in the body, then the body takes on the charge that that emotion carries. Therefore, it can be useful to “blow out” through running, exercise, pilates, meditation.
  • Allow yourself to feel the emotion. It’s okay to feel. If you are sad because you have lost a loved one, it is okay to feel sad. If you’re angry because you can’t find a parking space before you go to work, it’s okay to be angry.

Expressing emotions is a sensitive skill. It seeks to work out one’s own inner state that is tender, fragile, strong, closed, large, and intimate. Give yourself time and patience to persevere in getting to know yourself in this way because the fruits are – self-confidence, self-awareness, so as personal growth and development. In order to be able to track your own progress in expressing emotions, you can record moments when you are proud of yourself in the NAOMI app because you managed to trigger the emotion.

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